Heart pain

I bought myself into a relaxed state with inwards focused and started looking for answers.

I got to understand that what caused the pain, was that I was in doubt whether I am loved by my wife and child and that I evaluated every kind gesture to see if it was based on love for me or just to get something from me.

I saw how love flows as a bright white light from one person’s heart to another. I saw that when a gesture is given from the heart and received with the heart the energy flows from the heart out though the right arm to the recipients left arm and into the heart and continues to flow when the recipient of the love gives love back.

I realized that when someone gives from the heart it is a gift that should always be received with the heart. I learned that when someone gives from the heart, they want to give love to me and I should always receive it with my heart.

I learned that when we give from the hart we give to give and when we receive with the hart we receive to receive.

Because that I how love flows between us and within us.

I also learned that in life we chose who we want to team up with to evolve the love within us and the love between us and it is not a matter of how much love there are between us at any given time, it is only about whether we will do our best to strengthen and grow the love within us and between us in any relationship.

So, the question should never be “am I loved by this person”, and it should always be “how can I evolve to receive more and give more with my heart”.

Receiving this knowledge maid the pain in the hart go away almost at once.

The session with the hypnotherapist turned out to focus on an old acquaintance of mine that represents holding a grudge, namely a black eel like creature with white teeth that is swimming in a small poop of oil.

This creature I encountered during my first attempt to let go of blame with self-hypnosis. I think this was back in 2016.

Back then I changed the oil pool to a beautiful water stream where I let it swim out into the horizon and out of sight.

At that time, it helped a as I got to break out of a pattern of blame within my family.

This time I had help and we got even further.

The hypnotherapist helped me to change the eel into something filled with light instead of darkness and in this process, I realised that I had held on to this feeling because I thought that this was the strongest feeling I have ever had and it seemed that my soul has been in this state or been this creature at some point in my evolution and that it is the strongest I have ever felt.

Knowing this, it makes sense, why I held on to it.

After this session my hart got even lighter, but I could feel that I was still something left to resolve, and I knew that I had to reach the goal of always giving and receiving from the hart to have a strong a healthy hart.

The next step in my work with getting a better heart, came to me when I was going to work by train one day. And it was presented to me as a story that just popped up in my mind. The story was of me being a child looking at his father torturing another man by cutting him with a big knife. The father looked at the son and said: “this is the only way he will learn”.

After hearing this the child got to think “will he do the same to me then”.

At the moment that the child, in the story, got this idea – I felt a shock I my body.

I thought about what belief this story represents within me and concluded that it was that punishment and pain is the only way to be forgiven or to make someone change their behaviour. This was very much aligned with the fact that I often imagined punishing others when I felt they did something wrong, and it was really taking up a lot of space in my everyday life.

No punishment – no heart pain

So, I took this to a hypnotherapist that specialises in regression to earlier lives.

During the session with the hypnotherapist, we discovered that I was that child at some point in an earlier life and that the father did get to kill me in an attempt to teach me a lesson.

The question “what is there to be learned by this?” lead us to discover that I chose to live that life and to let him kill that way, because I wanted to help him break out of the belief that the only way for a person to change a behaviour is via punishment as he was so driven by this belief that everything in his life resulted in punishment and self-punishment.

And the only way for him to break out of this pattern was to feal overwhelming sadness about his own actions so that he would be motivated to stop this behaviour and find a better way. And his own son dying as a result of him being driven by this belief caused exactly that.

We also discovered that, in the time between that life and the life before, him and I had formed a spiritual contract to last for all lifetimes to come and that the premise of this contract was that we would use punishment on each other to evolve throughout all lives ahead of us.

Death by punishment

So, “death by punishment” lead to a discovery for both of us because we both experienced the consequence for this belief.

After this discovery, the hypnotherapist helped me form and implement a new contract that she wrote down for me, so I could gaze upon it from time to time in the future.

Self-love is to listen to ones own needs.

Self-love is to give one self the gifts that we need.

We shall allow each other to be who we are.

We will only interfere in each other lives when we are asked to do so and we are allowed to accept or decline to help at the given time and offer to help when it is best suited.

When asked for help we will help in a manner that we like to help.

We are allowed to say yes or no based on what feels best according to self-love.

The lesion is that we shall evolve from a perspective of self-love.

The soul evolves and therefore we must be open to better perspectives and better strategies.

The result of this hypnotherapy session was that my fantasies and impulses to punish decreased drastically and I got more peace of mind.

– Lovely.