This article is about how I let go of pain and decreased flexibility in my hips, simply by changing an aspect of my behaviour.
In about 2006 I started having problems with my hips. I had to sit in specific positions to avoid having pain and simple thinks like getting on my bike was very difficult and painful.
At that point I had already some experience with letting go of physical symptoms by letting go of the feelings that the body reacted to, so this was my approach this time as well.
I got some help and was told that the symptom was caused by irritation and that the irritation came from not giving my-self enough space and that it was like an emotional wrench adding pressure to my hips.
I could feel the irritation often, but I could not put my finger on what behaviour caused it.
So, I kept looking for the reason and when my holyday came up, I thought that I would have the time to go into depth with the problem.
The holiday
Just a couple of days into my holyday I was out driving with my wife and her family. Certainly, I got super annoyed, and I started complaining about all sorts of things.
When I noticed how sad my wife got, I realized that this behaviour must come to an end as I am ruining wat was supposed to be a good time and really taking the fun out of her time with her family that she sees rarely, because see went abroad to live with me.
When we got back to her family’s house, I told her that I need to get this sorted and that whenever I got angry or annoyed, I would just retreat to another room in the house and come back to join them when I had found my good mood again. And that she should just enjoy the time with family and not worry about me, because this was my task to deal with.
We also bought some good books for me to read and agreed that instead of me always joining them, I would take some time on my own and only join them when I really felt like it.
About a week into the holyday, I noticed that I did not feal any pain when I climbed the stairs in their house. I tested the flexibility of my hips and concluded that my hips were fully operational again.
I was really happy about this, but I could not figure out what I had done to heal my-self.
After the holyday
After my holyday, the hips started to complain once and a while and I decided to collect data. I started taking notes of my behaviour, thoughts and feelings and compare my notes from the time when I felt the pain and when not. I also tried to remember what was going on in my life the days just before I felt pain again.
After about a year I discovered that the hip problems came every time I avoided making a decision on how I wanted to spend my time. I also discovered that I had created a pattern of pushing the decision on the wife because I felt that her ideas of what to do together was better than my own.
So, I turned to always asking my-self what I felt like doing and also take part in the planning of the weekend and holyday activities.
This also had a positive effect on the wife because it was too much fer her to always have to come up with the ideas and do all the planning.
The holyday
Just a couple of days into my holyday I was out driving with my wife and her family. Certainly, I got super annoyed, and I started complaining about all sorts of things.
When I noticed how sad my wife got, I realized that this behaviour must come to an end as I am ruining wat was supposed to be a good time and really taking the fun out of her time with her family that she sees rarely, because see went abroad to live with me.
When we got back to her family’s house, I told her that I need to get this sorted and that whenever I got angry or annoyed, I would just retreat to another room in the house and come back to join them when I had found my good mood again. And that she should just enjoy the time with family and not worry about me, because this was my task to deal with.
We also bought some good books for me to read and agreed that instead of me always joining them, I would take some time on my own and only join them when I really felt like it.
About a week into the holyday, I noticed that I did not feal any pain when I climbed the stairs in their house. I tested the flexibility of my hips and concluded that my hips were fully operational again.
I was really happy about this, but I could not figure out what I had done to heal my-self.
After the holyday
After my holyday, the hips started to complain once and a while and I decided to collect data. I started taking notes of my behaviour, thoughts and feelings and compare my notes from the time when I felt the pain and when not. I also tried to remember what was going on in my life the days just before I felt pain again.
After about a year I discovered that the hip problems came every time I avoided making a decision on how I wanted to spend my time. I also discovered that I had created a pattern of pushing the decision on the wife because I felt that her ideas of what to do together was better than my own.
So, I turned to always asking my-self what I felt like doing and also take part in the planning of the weekend and holyday activities.
This also had a positive effect on the wife because it was too much fer her to always have to come up with the ideas and do all the planning.
In 2017 I started having hip difficulty again. It was not as bad as the first time around, but still enough to catch my attention.
At this time, I was in the process of making the decision of taking a new job offer or staying in the job I had.
I remember that I was in my car, driving back from work when I realized that the hip problem was caused by my worry about how my colleague would react to my resignation. So, I asked my-self what I really wanted, I took the new job and the hip alert went quiet again.
It turned out that all of my colleague just wished me good luck, and some where curios about where I was off to next.
It is funny how we can grow an idea in our own mind that has no attachment to reality and let it dictate our decisions. Humans are a bit strange that way.
The vision
A couple of years later my senses were much sharper and my visions were much clearer and I got the idea of investigating the hip problem again to if see I could gain more insight.
While revisiting my feelings at the time of the hip problems, I got a vision of two trails of insects coming from the tailbone and making a circle around the hip and into the hip socket.
I also saw a wrench from side to side of the outer part of the hip. I also saw a small boy in a tiny room or box. I can see it now as I write this text.
So, it seems that my friend was giving me solid advise from the beginning, she always does. And sometimes it is easy to follow. Other times it takes a lot of effort and the road to self-discovery is very long.
The vision
A couple of years later my senses were much sharper and my visions were much clearer and I got the idea of investigating the hip problem again to if see I could gain more insight.
While revisiting my feelings at the time of the hip problems, I got a vision of two trails of insects coming from the tailbone and making a circle around the hip and into the hip socket.
I also saw a wrench from side to side of the outer part of the hip. I also saw a small boy in a tiny room or box. I can see it now as I write this text.
So, it seems that my friend was giving me solid advise from the beginning, she always does. And sometimes it is easy to follow. Other times it takes a lot of effort and the road to self-discovery is very long.
