During my first stay at “The school of self-healing” I was given a simple assignment.
The assignment was:
Letting go of irony, because irony is saying the opposite of the truth and it pushes people away.
Sounds easy enough, but it turned out that irony and sarcasm was more or less a part of every sentence that escaping my mouth.
Irony & sarcasm
In this process I noticed that that there can be quite a lot of negative flings involved with irony and sarcasm. I noticed that I felt lesser when I did not understand when something was ironic and when I thought that something was a compliment and it turned out to be sarcastic. I also noticed that it had to be very clear to everybody when irony was in play for the atmospheria it to be free of tension.
When sarcasm was used it seemed to be something people were hiding behind when they wanted to complain or criticises and was missing the courage to be straight forward.
I must admit that is still use irony in a very excarnated manner now that my son thinks that saying the opposite can be funny.
I have declared sarcasm to always be a no-go.
Two self-reminders going forward
Irony & sarcasm
In this process I noticed that that there can be quite a lot of negative flings involved with irony and sarcasm. I noticed that I felt lesser when I did not understand when something was ironic and when I thought that something was a compliment and it turned out to be sarcastic. I also noticed that it had to be very clear to everybody when irony was in play for the atmospheria it to be free of tension.
When sarcasm was used it seemed to be something people were hiding behind when they wanted to complain or criticises and was missing the courage to be straight forward.
I must admit that is still use irony in a very excarnated manner now that my son thinks that saying the opposite can be funny.
I have declared sarcasm to always be a no-go.
Two self-reminders going forward
Lying = the truth is not good enough
A bit after the non-irony homework assignment, I got to reflect on why my two latest relationships did not work out and why I walked out when I actually liked my partner. Well, one thing that both relationships had in common was me, so I thought that I better take a look at that aspect. I think that what I discovered was that I started to dislike them bit by bit because they did not take my wants and needs into consideration.
Shortly after I thought that actually I am not always honest about my wants and needs so how could they know.
So, I decided to be honest going forward so that the next relationship would be without this problem and I thought that it would be easy because I did not lie that much.
“Easy” turned out to be the wrong judgment of the challenge ahead.
I discovered that I exaggerated or subdued so many things in my life and I discovered that with something I could not remember the tough because I had twisted the story so many times to impress others or for some other gain.
I remember that at that time I was engaged in a discussion about if little white lies are ok or not, and the term “what a person does not know will not hurt them” was also in question.
At some point I came to the conclusion that lying is believing that the truth is not good enough and finding out why I am hiding behind a lie is the key to resolving what ever this fear is about.
Lying = the truth is not good enough
A bit after the non-irony homework assignment, I got to reflect on why my two latest relationships did not work out and why I walked out when I actually liked my partner. Well, one thing that both relationships had in common was me, so I thought that I better take a look at that aspect. I think that what I discovered was that I started to dislike them bit by bit because they did not take my wants and needs into consideration.
Shortly after I thought that actually I am not always honest about my wants and needs so how could they know.
So, I decided to be honest going forward so that the next relationship would be without this problem and I thought that it would be easy because I did not lie that much.
“Easy” turned out to be the wrong judgment of the challenge ahead.
I discovered that I exaggerated or subdued so many things in my life and I discovered that with something I could not remember the tough because I had twisted the story so many times to impress others or for some other gain.
I remember that at that time I was engaged in a discussion about if little white lies are ok or not, and the term “what a person does not know will not hurt them” was also in question.
At some point I came to the conclusion that lying is believing that the truth is not good enough and finding out why I am hiding behind a lie is the key to resolving what ever this fear is about.
In the ontext of evolving
When I think of lying versus the truth in the context of evolving, I think that lying is suppressing the truth and I need to get to the truth to understand the root of the problem that I am currently working on letting go of. So, lying just prolongs the process and the lie is also a clue to solving the problem.
My side of the fence
